Bridal blues 11

Everyone is staring at me. Nancy is looking at me even more worried.  I won’t let this witch ruin the moment. This dinner is our moment and not hers to control.

“We met in Arusha. “,I begin.

He is such a good dancer,she says.

“A work party”,I had to let loose…Nancy is glaring now..

A..little not that am a party animal. Is that even appropriate to say?.

“So you plan office parties too?”,Nancy’s mother asks Red.

No..this was just a party I attended.she says.

How about we try the chicken?,Nancy interrupts. Putting everyone attention back to the food. It’s quiet again until Nancy speaks.”Thank you all for coming. Thank you mama for this dinner. Everyone I would like you to meet my fiancee.  Nicholas”,she points at me. This changes everything now.It is obvious she knows that Red planned to sabotage the dinner.She is now playing along. Cunning Nancy.I love this.

**

I want to throw up.She is showing off her fiancee. Hashtag let’s wait if you will last. I take a sip of the juice that am served.Remi and Rachel are busy flirting.I look around and see Nancy whisper something to her mother.

“The wedding will be three weeks from today”.The mother announces. There is suddenly a round of applause filled with halulations from the aunties . I eat quietly. Excusing my self after I finish my meal. I head to the bathroom. Most people are now finished eating, socialising leaving the close family discussing about the wedding.

I find Nancy waiting for me as I come out of the bathroom.

“Hope you are full now. The door is right this way.”,she rudely says. Or and Remi is already outside waiting for you.

“I thought he would be upstairs finishing what he started with your sister”,I fire back.

“I see he briefed you”,she says. But not for long. Remi won’t last with Rachel so don’t count on it. I don’t want my sister near you or your family.

“Just like you won’t last with Nick”,I say with spite.She is mad too mad she lays her hands on me. A fight I see..well bring it on.We struggle with each other shouting insults. She pulls my hair,she must really hate it . I push her back with too much force she falls on the floor. I wipe my self. Put my hair back in place and proceed to walk out. Nancy is still on the floor. I could care less.I walk out and meet Nick.

“Where is my fiancee?”,he shouts at me.

“Do I look like her keeper?..mxxiu..”,Let me pass.

I swear if you did anything to her!,he threatens grabbing my arm hurting me. Leave us alone will you??

I won’t until you take me and my baby. A child I am carrying for you.I tell him.He lets go of my hand. I notice that Nancy has heard me. Even better,this marks my evening.I walk past him and leave them to fight.

*****

“She’s ….pregnant. ???!.”,I weakly ask.

He reaches out to hug me.I am so shocked and weak  thus I don’t fight him as much as I would like to. He holds me tight as if he does not want to loose me. While I feel i have already lost him ,he is killing me softly as days go. Blow after blow. The fact that I am going to marry him in three weeks makes me sick.I open my mouth to speak but nothing comes out. He is now kissing my neck. I am pushing him but it’s like am pulling him closer. I feel so weak against him. “Stoop..please “,I beg him

” I am hurt ..”,I start to cry. I am sorry baby..but don’t believe her. I pull out from his hug. I am tired. Thanks for coming. You can go now. I am going to bed. I say.

I need him to leave.I can’t stop thinking of the possibility that I will be a step mother; If I  marry him.It hurts more that I can’t back out now.

“Are you going to drink tonight?”he asks concerned. He hates when I drink. I hate the hangovers as well but it calms me and gives me sleep.

“I need to.”,I say.

He doesn’t argue like his usual “Will you allow me to stay with you?”he asks.

I am silent. “I could use a drink too “,he adds. This makes me laugh. The idea that two forbidden lovers wallowing by immersing ourselves in a bottle of alcohol is ridiculously sad.

As much as I hate to share my bottle. “One glass..,”I reply.

He smiles. He thinks this is fun. I walk into the kitchen finding my bottle.  Most people have left now. I missed my first meeting. I am sure they don’t need me anyway. It’s their wedding, my marriage. Besides I am not in the mood to choose things. I just want to get this over and done already. I pour a bottle of Hennessey V.S.O.P into a glass for him. For me I take the largest mug I see. I pour the remainder whiskey to fill the mug. Close the bottle . I turn to face Nick. He is looking at me like am this stranger he just met.

“To forbidden love”,I say. Cheers.

*******

One week later.

I walk out of my last class of the day. School has been distracting me. I feel less stressed since my family is handling everything.  I don’t care even to choose the dress or colours . I have changed even my friends say. I have shut off my interests ,sense of care and emotions.

My long time friend arrives today from Lagos.  She had being born there by a Nigerian mother but her father was Tanzanian.He brought her to Tz as a baby. We met in nursery school.Our fathers were best of friends. But after the tragic accident that caused both of their deaths . She went back to Nigeria to live with her mother. But always returns to visit. I also go to see her during vacations. She is the life of the party. I got my drinking from her. The first time we got drunk back in primary 7. She had stolen her father’s wine and kept it in her water bottle. I found her at the back of the class sipping on the drink. Little me was so nervous and scared. Until I tasted it and got addicted. Since then we have became drinking buddies.

I enter my car. I need to be early,picking her from the airport.  I check my phone .There are so many texts on my whatsapp .I ignore a hundred texts from a group chat. I scroll through the whole conversation. Go to another group and do the same. I need to exit all these groups.  They need to update to exiting groups without it stating:Nancy left.

I see Lola’s text.

-On my way to board. Cant wait to see you in few hours. Prepare my bottle.kisses😚😚😚😚-

I see Nick’s text.

-Have a nice day in class my love❤-

I see Dominic’s text.

-Ey Dear..miss you. Been sick . That’s why I haven’t been around. Hope you good. Catch up soon.-

Oh my God. I have been such a bad friend. With all my problems I forgot about Dom. I need to call him and see how he’s doing.I dial his number. He answers on the first ring.

Me: Were you waiting on me to call?!😁

Dom: hahahaha..Yeah ..I just had my phone on my hand bana ..

Me:Pole..Are you doing better? You said in your text about being sick.

Dom: Yeah yeah..am good now. Thanks. How’s you? ?

Me :I am.strong. tired. Alive.

Dom:I heard you are getting married?  Really you didn’t tell me .

Me: Its complicated. But we will talk. Am so busy these days.Forgive Me.

Dom: Am always here..you just say when you are free.

Me:Okay. .how is tomorrow lunch time?

Dom:That’s cool.

Me:Okay  bye,I gotta go.

Dom: Takecare….

***

She always hungs up before I say I love u. I wish I had the guts to tell her. I can trust me. I just hate the rejection part. She sees me as nothing but a friend. That Nick guy is a luck mother…f….She is marrying him. This hurts .I.will do anything to be him . I can’t seem to get Nancy out of my mind no matter how I date other girls.It’s like she has a spell on me.

*****

How do u find this color?,I ask Nancy’s mother. I know the daugutter hates me. But I offered to assist.This way I am closer to the family and easier to plan my moves. I told her not to tell Nancy and she agreed of course.I wonder why Nancy has not told her mother about me yet. Mhhh. ..what is she afraid of?.

It’s lovely dear. It would look good for the decoration. She says agreeing to the peach coloured material.I want to mix it with lavender the contrast will be so exquisitely classy.

“What is Nancy’s favourite color ?”,I ask her.

“She loves purple.”, that’s why I picked lavender .

Awww,I say and roll my eyes while she’s not looking.

********